Palestinians Finally Run Out of Rocks
WEST BANK - Palestinian stone throwers disclosed for the first time Friday, that due to a gross miscalculation of their arsenal, they had finally run out of rocks and would be forced to come up with more inventive ways of continuing their Intifada on the Jewish state of Israel.
"I reached down to grab a rock this morning and all I got was a handful of sand," said one Palestinian militant who asked to remain anonymous. "I tried throwing it but it just blew back in my face. Man, It really stung my eyes!"
Militant groups were quick to cast blame for the depletion of their arsenal on a group of teenage "stone hogs" who exhausted the supply by throwing indiscriminately at passing cars, various neighborhood bullies and the occasional stray dog.
Others accused a local housewife of wasting the rocks by building "a cute little gravel path" leading up to a backyard bird feeder.
"The important thing is to find another resource as quickly as possible," said Palestinian militant leader, Hamid Al Gazi. "Meanwhile, we're alternating between spitting on the Israelis and throwing feces at them. We really need to find some alternatives quick."
Leaders of two radical groups, Hamas and Islamic Jihad, not wanting show signs of military unreadiness, decided to immediately unleash a precious cargo of snack-sized tapioca pudding containers stolen from an Israeli middle school cafeteria.
According to reports, the pudding has great hang-time and can be thrown almost as far as rocks. Plus, it's really impressive when it explodes all over enemy clothing.
"I do have to admit, It really kills me to throw the tapioca Snack Packs," Al Gazi said. "Those goddamn Jews really know their pudding."